woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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