dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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