he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
