We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
