I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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