I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
