I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
even my farts smell like vagina
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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