Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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