Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
