i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
