I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
