the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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