Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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