o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
