so that wasnt chicken after all
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize