i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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