We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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