So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
3pm strippers are depressing
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
