I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
