yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
