I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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