Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
