I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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