Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
