Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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