I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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