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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
