Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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