Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
