Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
