I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
