Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
