Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
