a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
