They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
