my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
