I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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