I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
