Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
