i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize