so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ok first of all what the fuck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
