I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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