he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize