Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
People in love make me want to vomit
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
