I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize