How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
this is an emotional support booty call
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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