don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
