got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
