Me too!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
