im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
