We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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