we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
