you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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