it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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