I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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