I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
