You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He shit in the fireplace
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
