I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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