I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
