Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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