he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
